When you live with a rare disease, the joyful experiences risks can bring are all the more valuable.

By Chris Anselmo

When we’re going through tough times, it is easy to focus solely on the present moment. We have crises and challenges that require our full attention, and we need to deal with them today.

Thinking about the future? We don’t always have that luxury. Unfortunately, this short-term thinking impacts how we evaluate new experiences that are fun and exciting. If we’re struggling, we’re more likely to say no to something than say yes. This doesn’t mean our reasons for saying no aren’t valid (they almost always are), only that it’s hard to perceive the positive long-term benefits of an experience in the heat of the moment.

I fall into this trap all the time when I consider traveling to events and conferences. Many times, although the experience might further my career or help me expand my network, I look at everything in totality and conclude that it isn’t worth the effort. A trip to the supermarket tires me out; a multi-day road trip is exhausting. It simply feels like too much of a risk to put myself out there.

And yet, it’s precisely these trips out of our comfort zone that bring the greatest joy, creating memories that we can savor for the rest of our lives.

The Memory Dividend

Loosely defined, a Memory Dividend is the recurring happiness we get by reliving an experience over and over. Whether it’s going to a Taylor Swift concert, traveling the world, running a marathon on behalf of your favorite charity, or attending a sporting event, these unique experiences can change our lives.

Shared memories pay the highest dividends. For example, every time I chat with my friends from college and grad school, we always have fun reminiscing about our favorite times together.

You don’t get this same kind of Memory Dividend with possessions. When you buy a thing, you feel the most enjoyment at the moment of purchase. Over time, the object wears down, or gets consumed, or you get bored with it. Then it’s on to the next thing.

Yet, despite this key differentiator, we often view experiences as one-time events. We fail to account for the Memory Dividend, which short-changes the reward portion of our risk-reward calculations.

Fill your life with joyful experiences

Many types of experiences provide satisfying Memory Dividends. Here are some of the best:

• Exciting experiences (i.e. travel, concerts, sporting events, dinner at a fancy restaurant) - This one is straightforward. You go to a ballgame, or check an item off your bucket list, and you can relive the memory for years to come. Your senses are activated in a visceral way that perfectly captures how you felt in the moment.

• Taking a risk - Sure, some risks fail. But many risks are experiences that you can look back on with pride. If you decided to quit your job, or you moved to a new city, that’s an experience you can relive over and over. It can fill you with an inner confidence that grows over time.

• Spending time with family and friends - Any time spent with those we love and care about creates a satisfying Memory Dividend. Sometimes, mundane experiences are the most meaningful. Simply being with them is enough.

Tilting the scales

Hard times are a formidable barrier to action. But when we’re able to think beyond the present moment and consider how an experience can enrich us over time, we can make more informed yes/no decisions. It took me a while to think about experiences through this lens, but it has already paid off.

Last year, I almost turned down a trip to Philadelphia to attend a Phillies fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I was so focused on the logistical headaches that I failed to consider the positive memories I could make.

At the last moment, we decided to go. I got to meet Rhys Hoskins, who hosted the fundraiser with his wife Jayme, and met several members of the Phillies organization. I had so much fun that night, and I still think about it to this day.

This is not to say that every experience will be a blast. (Going to a basketball game and watching your team get blown out is miserable, trust me.) And some possessions are great every time you use them, such as my adjustable bed. But on the whole, the Memory Dividend framework can push us to say yes when every bone in our body wants to say no.

Our future selves will appreciate it.

To read more of Chris Anselmo’s writing, visit his site, Hello, Adversity.